


Secrets

by madnessofsorts



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America AU, M/M, Marvel Universe, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, chapte 2 rape/non-con mentioned, for now anyways, i will update these tags as i go on, james bucky barnes/steve rogers au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-05 08:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10302980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessofsorts/pseuds/madnessofsorts
Summary: Starts off as Pre-serum Steve, will be post-serum in a later chapter.This is a story about Steve and Bucky's life and all of the ups and downs they had to go through before they got to that happy little family in a house with a white picket fence scenario.





	1. The one where we learn about how they met

**Author's Note:**

> A new fanfic? Wow! 
> 
> As always, no beta. Any mistakes please let me know.

It all started with a small 5 year old blonde boy and his two left feet. Steve Rogers was that said boy. Not only was he small because of his young age, but because he was sickly. Even though he was so small, it didn’t stop him from going out and getting in fights. This worried his mom. She was worried constantly that her son was going to get extremely hurt or worse killed. But one day those worries were put to rest when the small blonde boy met his soon to be best friend, James Buchanan Barnes. Steve was out walking down the streets of Brooklyn when he tripped. He swore he tripped over a rock, but Bucky knew better. He watched it happened with his own two eyes after all. Steve went down, landing on his hands and knees causing Bucky to stop in his steps. Now at this time, he had no idea who this boy was. Just some random stranger who fell. But he knew if that was him, he would want someone to see if he was okay. So that was what he was going to do. The 8 year old brunette looked both ways before he crossed the street and knelt down next to the blonde boy. 

“Are you okay?” Bucky questioned, putting his hand on the boys shoulder.  
The voice of another person startled Steve. This wasn't the first time he had fallen, but this was the first time someone had ever stopped and asked if he was okay. With a nod of his head, Steve moved to sit on his legs as he brushed his hands off on his dirty pants.  
“Yeah… Uh yeah, I’m fine” Steve got out after what seemed like a lifetime, his gaze finally meeting the kind persons. Much to his Steve’s surprise, he was met with kind eyes and a soft smile on a boy probably around his age.  
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, But you can call me Bucky.” The brunette said, offering his hand out to the blonde. Steve looked at Bucky’s hand before he reached and shook his hand.  
“I’m Steven Grant Rogers, But you can call me Steve.” The two were inseparable ever since that moment, and really they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

That was more than 10 years ago when that happened. Steve was now nineteen, still a small scrawny boy who worked at a comic store and Bucky was now twenty two and working down at the docs almost daily. Not much had changed between the two, only the fact their friendship had turned into something more. Steve loved Bucky and Bucky loved Steve. It wasn't that friendship love, no this was the real deal. But no one could know of their relationship. Not even their parents. It was frowned upon during this day and age and Bucky didn’t want Steve to get beat up more than he already was. It was a Monday. A new start to the long week, but also one day closer to their paychecks. Bucky was sat on the sofa waiting for Steve to emerge from the bathroom. The two normally walked together to work, Bucky dropping Steve off since the comic book store was closer than the docs were. On special days, the two would stop at a small cafe and grab a coffee before Steve had to spend the day inside the store. Not that he was going to complain about that. At least he was able to do his own art or read the comics while he was working. Bucky on the other hand didn’t have the luxury of reading comics during the day. Moving crates and helping the doc manager took up a majority of his time.  
While stuck in his mind, Bucky didn’t realize Steve had exited the bathroom fully dressed until he saw a figure standing in front of him.  
“Buck? Buuuuucky” Steve’s voice was ringing in the brunettes ears until he snapped out of his little daze. Quickly, Bucky stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.  
“Sorry, I’m back.” he said, offering the shorter a smile.  
“You know, that was the third time since Sunday you’ve done that.” Steve commented as he threw his messenger bag over his shoulder, handing Bucky his own bag.  
“It’s nothin, punk. I was just thinking is all.” Bucky made sure all of the lights, which was really just one, was turned off before heading to the front door, key in his hand.  
“We are gonna be late, let’s go.” Bucky added, hurrying the blonde out of the door, a smirk on his face as he lightly nudged the others butt.  
“I hate you.” Steve turned to glare at Bucky, but that didn’t last long. Instead, he bursted out into laughter. They both did.  
“Do you hate me? Do you reeaaallly?” Bucky asked sing-song like as he locked the door behind. He didn’t know why they did that. It wasn’t like they had a lot for people to steal. Of course, Steve didn't hate him. He loved him. But his neighbors couldn’t know that. 

The two had made their way down the blocks until they got to the comic book shop. Steve was opening and closing that day so he knew no one was around at that moment. Before Steve walked through the doors of the shop, the two looked around before Bucky leant over and kissed Steve gently. That was really the only good things about Monday’s. The two got to do things like that, no one was about.  
“I’ll see ya after my shift, yeah?” He whispered, after pulling away gently. Steve nodded as his fingers fiddled with the strands on his bag.  
“Yeah. Have a good day, Buck.” Saluting Steve, Bucky backed away and headed down to the docs.  
Once inside, Steve began his routine: turning on all of the lights, opening the registers, setting up his papers and supplies so he can draw all day if it was slow enough, and make sure the store looked presentable which of course it did since he was the last to close. Now all he had to do was wait for 6 pm to come about and he could go home with Bucky.  
The brunette meanwhile had just made it to work by the time Steve had finished all of his morning duties. Unlike Steve, there was someone always at the docks. Or well so it seemed like there was. It was mostly Brock Rumlow and Alexander Pierce that were at the docs. Pierce owned the place and Brock was his right hand man so it seemed which meant Bucky did all of the work while the two just sat around in the AC room they had. But the pay was good and they needed the money. So Bucky didn’t complain about it, hell he didn't even tell Steve about it. He knew Steve would get all worked up over it, and Bucky couldn’t handle that. So he stayed silent and worked his ass off. It was worth it though, he was saving a lot of money for Steve to go to Art school. He knew how much the blonde wanted to go, but he also knew how expensive it was to go. Bucky was planning on telling Steve on his birthday about the Art school. Hopefully by then, he would have saved enough.  
—————  
As soon as it turned 6 pm, Steve locked the door to the shop and turned to look at the spotless room through the glass door. He was done with work for the day and so was Bucky. He knew it would take the Brunette at least 10 minutes to get back to the shop so Steve sat on the stoop and began to draw. The streets were filled with people heading back to their homes after a long day at work. The sounds of car horns and people talking to one another filled the air.  
30 minutes had passed. Bucky was no where to be seen. He was never this late and if he was going to be late, he would have told him in the morning before they parted ways. Worry began to fill Steve’s small frame. What if something bad had happened to him? What if he got hurt? He had been acting strange recently but would never say why. Bucky always changed the subject when it was brought up. Steve shoved his art supplies into his bag and stood up, about to head down the street towards the docs when he saw a familiar figure heading his way. Bucky. He was okay. A smile was on his face as he got closer to Steve. Sure he looked tired, but he always did after work.  
“Heya Stevie, Hungry?” Bucky questioned, swinging his arm over Steve’s shoulder bringing him in for a side hug. This is what they did when they were in public. It made it seemed like they were just two friends.  
“Course, I think we have some left over pizza still.”  
“How about we go to the shop near our apartment? I feel like somethin different.” As Bucky said that, Steve looked up at Bucky confused.  
“With what money, Buck? We don’t get paid until Friday.”  
“I got some extra, which was why i was a little late. Come on, let’s go.” Bucky said, ending that conversation as quickly as he could.  
“A lot of people come in today?” he questioned before Steve could ask anything else about the docs.  
“Yeah it was busier than normal today, I think it’s because of spring break.”  
————  
Steve and Bucky continued their conversation about spring break and reminiscing on their days in high school as they entered the little shop. It was their first time in there, but even then they were to caught up in talking to one another to even respond to the person who greeted them at the door. With a bag in either of their hands, The both headed back to their apartment. They were going to eat good tonight. Both of them had gotten a burger and fries, something they hadn’t had in so long.  
The sun was setting and the events at worked didn’t even seem important anymore. Steve had Bucky and Bucky had Steve. Just like always. They were always inseparable no matter what life threw their way. Even when Steve tripped over his feet as they had just made it to their stairwell, Bucky was their to catch him and of course laugh his ass off in the process. Sure Steve, Just a rock.


	2. The one where we learn Bucky's secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get to learn what Bucky goes through at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah hi it's me again.  
> I didn't proof read this and I am really tired but wanted to get this up for you.
> 
> If you see any mistakes let me know!

It was finally Friday. Well it was Friday morning which meant he still had to go into work, but at least it was almost Saturday. That was the only day Bucky got off. Not that he was complaining, the more he worked the more money he brought back. Plus it wasn’t like the job itself was that bad, more the people he worked with. That was what made work hell for the brunette. Not only did the people he worked with do nothing at all to help, they both took credit for every little thing Bucky did. Even if it was just the little things like taking out the trash. Either Brock or Alexander would take credit for doing so. At first, Bucky said something about it. But he quickly learned that would get him no where in life if he continued to do that. So of course, The brunette just went about his day doing all of the work and let the other two take credit. At least he was being paid for it.   
Bucky let out a sigh when the alarm started to go off. It was the world’s most annoying thing and he didn't know how Steve could possibly sleep through the damned thing, but he did! Bucky rolled out of the bed and headed into the bathroom that was just across the hall from the bedroom to get ready for the day. He figured there was no point in shaving that early since he would just look like a hobo by the end of the shift, might as well throw in the beard as well. He could always shave it later that night if he felt like it. That just left brushing his teeth and getting dressed. He was already in the bathroom so he turned on the old faucet and wet his toothbrush before beginning his morning routine. By the time he was finished and dressed, the sun was just about to rise. He knew this was his key to start heading out. He couldn’t afford being late. Throwing on his lighter coat and hat, Bucky took one last look at Steve who was still laying on the bed asleep. He had Fridays off in the morning which meant he got to sleep in. Without waking the blond, Bucky leaned over and placed a light kiss onto his head before leaving the room and heading to work. It was a chilly day so he made sure he left his big coat home for Steve to use when he went out. Bucky did everything he could to make sure that boy wouldn’t get sick. He had a feeling Steve may have gotten sick a few times in the past just so he could have an excuse to cuddle. But now Bucky didn’t mind that at all, but he knew no one outside of their walls could know of their relationship. Which was another reason why he has to stay working where he does, otherwise they would tell everyone in their town. Bucky didn’t want anyone to know because he knew what they would do. While Bucky could handle it, he knew Steve couldn’t. The people in their town would break his bones so easily and Bucky couldn’t stand seeing the blonde in pain.   
It didn’t take long to arrive at the docs. There was hardly a living soul out before the sun was up. Just a few of the working people. It was probably the only time it was quiet in that area. The quiet was peaceful although it normally caused Bucky to get lost in his mind while walking. Sometimes it was good, but most of the time it caused issues with himself. Today appeared to be a good day. But that was before work started. Bucky clocked in, realizing he was the only one there so far. It was common for him to be the first to arrive. Sometimes for hours. He just hoped the other two would be in a good mood for today’s shift. He didn’t get his hopes up for that. After only a half an hour, Bucky began to hear the noises of his fellow colleagues enter the area. Bucky stopped what he was doing for a moment and listened. He wanted to know what type of mood they were in, not wanting to set them off for something small. Turns out that was a smart thing to do since It sounded as though they had been out drinking the night before. It wasn’t a rare thing for that to happen, maybe once or twice a week.  
While he dreaded these days the most, he knew he would be making a little extra today. He just wished he didn't have to make a little extra cash the way he did. Bucky always put it off though, stayed out of the way of the two other men. Making sure they didn't know where he was or that he wouldn't be able to be cornered. He made that mistake before.   
Bucky managed to go almost the whole day unnoticed by his fellow ‘workers’. It was when he was cleaning up the last area did Alexander see him. Bucky knew he saw him too. They made eye contact. A chill ran through his body as he knew what was about to happen. With a sigh, Bucky moved the last wheel barrel inside the shed locking it up behind him as he headed to clock out. Which of course meant walking by Alexander. Bucky did his best to look the other way, but he could feel eyes piercing into his skull. No words had been said to him yet which was a good sign, but that didn’t mean he was in the clear just yet. Turning to head out of the office area, Bucky made sure to continue looking straight ahead of him, no need to look at Alexander if he could help it. But of course, Alexander would have something to say.  
“Barnes.” Alex said, his voice rough from the night out drinking. Bucky stopped in his tracks, eyes closed as his shoulders tensed.   
“You forgot to take the trash out.” A smirk could be heard in his voice as he spoke. The squeak of the chair indicated that the boss was standing. Bucky knew where he was heading and he didn’t like it. The feeling of a hand pressing down on his lower back made Bucky’s teeth grind together.   
“Oh come on now, no need to tense up.” Alex took a step closer, pushing Bucky against the wall that was next to them. He was trapped. Bucky didn’t even realize he was squeezing his eyes shut at this time. Hell, he wasn’t aware of anything when this happened. Alexander reached his hand around the front of Bucky’s pants as he rested his chin on the brunettes shoulder.   
“I said, relax.” He commanded. Bucky wasn’t sure if he did or not. He must have since nothing else was said. Well not that he could remember anyways.   
——————  
Bucky wasn’t sure if five minutes had gone by or 30, everything just seemed to disappear by the time he came back to the present. Somehow he ended up sitting on the ground with his back against the wall. No one was in the room and the lights had been turned off. Alexander must have headed off. With a shaky hand, Bucky ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. He hadn’t realized he was hyperventilating until he realized the sound he was hearing was his own breath. Once he had that under control, the brunette stood up and headed to leave the office so he could get home to Steve.   
As he exited, the cold air instantly hit his frame. Sure he was cold, but at least he knew Steve would have been warm wearing his coat. Steve needed it much more than he did. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, not only did Bucky find some warmth, he also found cash tucked in their. Alex must have done that after he had his way. At least he could get Steve into art school faster. But he wished it didn’t have to be that way. It wasn’t like he could tell anyone though. Alexander had found out about him and Steve one night because Brock had told him. Ever since that day, work had become worse and events such as the one that just occurred began to happen regularly. Bucky just learned to black out of the world. To go into a happier place in his mind. But since he had to do that so often at work, he accidentally did it at times when he was around Steve. It was just a habit he had now. One he wished he could fix. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to, at least not for a while.   
Bucky walked quickly as he wanted to get out of the coldness. When he arrived back at the apartment, he was greeted by the smell of pizza filling the room. The first smile he had worn all day finally appeared on the brunettes face.   
“Oh honey, I’m home” He called out jokingly after the front door was closed and locked. Foot steps could be heard shuffling out from the bedroom.  
“Bout time, I was gonna eat the pizza if you didn’t get back soon.” Steve replied as he wiped the paint he had on his hands onto his jeans.   
“Were ya painting pizza or did ya buy some?” Bucky mused, raising an eyebrow as he walked over to the blonde. Bucky carefully used his thumb to remove some blue paint off of Steve’s face.   
“Or maybe you were just painting yourself.” He added with a chuckle. This made Steve smirk as he stood up onto his toes to place a kiss onto Bucky’s nose.   
“Ha ha. But seriously, let’s eat. I’m Starving.” Steve took Bucky’s hand and led him to the sofa were the pizza was sat on the coffee table. The brunette watched as Steve sat down and began to get himself a slice. Everything he was going through was worth it to see Steve happy. That was all that really mattered to Bucky after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter   
> @Lnfinitystone


	3. What if?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a visit at work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I updated wow.  
> No Beta. Didnt reread it because i am tired of this chapter now. Any mistakes let me know.

Steve had always been small. There wasn’t a time in his life that he had a muscle on his body. Sure he got made fun of for it, but he got use to it. If anything, being so small had made the blonde even tougher. All throughout his time in school, Steve had been made fun of. Steve never thought he would meet someone like Bucky. But boy was he glad he did. If it weren’t for the other, he probably wouldn’t have made it home that night. Steve had been in an ally way fighting off some bullies. However these bullies were more than twice his size and well, Steve wasn’t exactly winning. That was until Bucky came about. Ever since then, the two had been inseparable. Bucky always there to help Steve when he needed it, and Steve helping Bucky even if he didn't know it. As Steve walked to work with Bucky by his side like normal, these memories flashed through his mind. All the times Bucky had to save him from fights. All the times Bucky had ended up injured because he was to weak to fend off the bullies himself. Steve wished their was something he could do to change that, but he knew it was a wish that would never come true. Or so he thought.   
That day, everything had been normal. Steve and Bucky got up at the same time. Steve throwing the pillows at Bucky to wake the brunette up as he threw his clothes on because they would be late if he didn’t get his ass up, Bucky pulling Steve back into bed because it was better with the blonde in bed, and somehow after all of the cuddling and getting ready, the two heading down the streets to their jobs. Once they arrived at the comic book store, Bucky offered Steve a smile as their was a person walking by.   
“Stay out of trouble, ya hear?” The brunette called out as he headed down the street. Steve watched as Bucky walked down the street until he was out of view before he himself unlocked the comic book store and headed in. It was always quiet first thing in the morning. Peaceful. No one coming in to ruin the comics. Everything neatly put away, just the way it should be. Or how it normally was. This was where the change occurred. As Steve stood at the counter pulling out some paper so he could draw until his boss arrived, the ring of the door caught his attention. It wasn’t time for his boss to show up and no one was normally around. With furrowed eyebrows, Steve’s head turned towards the door.   
“Ah Hello there, Steve Rogers.” The man said as he clapped his hands together, turning to head towards the blonde.   
“I was hoping I would catch you here. I hope you aren’t busy.” The man said, looking around the shop. Steve’s head tilted to the side slightly. Who was this man?“And who are you?” Steve questioned, crossing his arms across his chest.   
“Ah yes, I do apologize. My name is Abraham Erskine. I have heard a lot about you.” Abraham was now directly across the counter from Steve, towering over the boy.   
“I can’t say the same about you.” Steve mumbled, taking a step back from the counter.   
“I am just gonna get straight to the point, Steve. What would you say if I could make you… Bigger?” Steve rolled his eyes hearing that.   
“Yeah right. All of my Doctors said I won’t be gettin any bigger than this. I doubt anything you could do can change that.”   
“We have been working on something, Mr. Rogers. It is a serum.” Abraham reached into his coat pocket and placed a piece of paper in front of Steve.   
Abraham flashed Steve a smile as he tucked his hands into his pocket, heading to leave for the door. Steve’s eyes never leaving the man. He wasn’t sure what to think of him.  
“I look forward to hearing from you!” He said as he opened and the door and walked out. Steve didn’t move a muscle for a few moments. He was confused on what had just happened. It wasn’t until his boss came in did he quickly swipe up the paper the person left. Turning it over in his hands, Steve read it carefully.   
Would it be worth it to go through this procedure the man talked about? What if this could actually work? He could get a better job and bring more money in for him and Bucky, that way the brunette wouldn’t have to work those long hours and take up the extra shifts like he does. All of these thoughts rushed through Steve’s head as the day went on. Since it wasn’t really busy that day, so it gave him plenty of time to ponder over all of the pros and cons of contacting this guy. Bucky wouldn’t have to worry so much if he had it. But then again, the serum may do something else besides make him bigger. What if it made him weaker? Was it really a risk he would want to take? Soon enough, it was time for Steve to close up the shop and head home for the day. He pocketed the card with the persons information and made sure the doors were all locked before he headed back to the apartments.   
Once he was there, he put the card in his shoe wants he took those off and got changed. Bucky wouldn’t be home for a while so he had some time to kill.   
The blonde grabbed his pencils and some paper and sat at the card table they had in the kitchen where he began to draw. It was something he normally did after work. Normally he would draw whatever random creature that popped into his mind. But today, Steve began to draw him and Bucky. Only in this drawing, Steve wasn’t tiny. He had muscles and he was healthy. Maybe it was possible. Maybe the doctors were wrong and he wasn’t a lost cause. Steve nearly finished the drawing when Bucky walked into the apartment. The sound of his boots hitting the floor brought Steve out of the daze he didn’t know he was in.   
“Steve, I’m back!” Bucky called out as he headed over towards the blonde. Steve quickly crumpled the paper up. He didn’t want Bucky to see this. He didn’t want him to know about the guy that came in. It would worry the brunette and that was something that wasn’t needed.  
“what were ya drawnin today?” Bucky questioned as he wrapped his arms around Steve’s torso.   
“Just scribbles really. Couldn’t really think of anything good to draw today.”   
“Everything you draw is a masterpiece, punk.” Bucky placed a kiss onto Steve’s head.  
“Let’s get some food, yeah?” Hearing that question, Steve nodded and moved to get up, turning around in Bucky’s arm.   
“Sounds good, Jerk.” What would it be like to be bigger and hugging Bucky? Steve wondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter: @Lnfinitystone

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter: @Lnfinitystone  
> if you have any suggestions for this story, let me know. I'd love to hear what you think


End file.
